Thursday, June 9, 2011

Olivia: The Unwelcome Guest


I have a guest. 
Her name is Olivia. 
She arrived unannounced, but somewhat expected, this morning. 

To be honest, although I do my best to accomodate her and meet her every need, I don't particularly like having her around. Nor does my husband, actually. She pops in to visit every month and stays for about 5 days. When the time comes for her visit, I make a special trip to the grocery store and stock up on her essentials. Chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Lots and Lots and Lots of chocolate.


Chocolate and sanitary supplies. Yes. You guessed it. My 'guest' Olivia is otherwise known as 'That Time Of the Month'. Do you have a special name for your 'Visitor'? Olivia is a codename my sister and I came up with when speaking about our 'cycle' (especially if my very squeamish husband is in the room). We named her after a supermarket brand of sanitary pads, not Olivia Newton John the singer (in case you were wondering).

Sorry Livvy!
My sister and I are close, so close that our cycles are in synch. So if Olivia is paying my sister a visit, I know I'm not far behind and that I must prepare for battle.
When Olivia (or Livvy for short) comes around, 
this is how I feel (especially on Night 1):

Throw in a bit of this:

And a dash of this:

and you get the picture.

When Olivia comes to call, I need this by the bucketful:

and I could happily live on this:

And all I really feel like doing is this:

and this:

 and this:

My Monthly Olivia Mantra is this:
Hubby knows it is his duty to Heed the Call.

After 5 days have passed, Olivia starts to pack her bags and leaves.

Joy enters our lives once more and I'm feeling the Pep in my Step, the Groove in My Move, the Shimmy in my Shake, I Got the Giggles, while I'm Wagging my Wiggle.


And Hubby feels the Joy too.
Because I go from this:

Back to this:

7 comments:

Common Chaos Chronicle said...

Bahahhahaha! I just love the pics you find so much. They really do say 1000 words! Thanks for the giggle. May the next 5 days fly.
Jac xox

Vintage Gypsy said...

love your writing style, and the pics are all just great, good job

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

lol I love this post - but not Olivia.
PS I think Aldi -call their sanitary products Olivia.

romStar said...

MWwwaaaaaahaaaa! i am sick in bed with yet ANOTHER heavy cold (thank you kidlets) and this made me giggle so much the laptop fell off my lap. i think one of the reasons i breastfeed for, like, FOREVER, is to avoid re-enacting those photos. i know how that polar bear feels!!!

Alex aka WHOA MUMMA! said...

Reason why I stay pregnant, lol.

Kate Sins said...

Lol! Olivia hasn't visited me for-ever... Pregnancy and breastfeeding keep her a looong way away.

I don't mind so much when she does visit. Makes me feel healthy.. Sounds weird now I actually write that down...

Jess WhoaMamma said...

I know what you mean when you say 'makes me feel healthy', Kate. It is all part of the miraculous baby-making process, and for that I AM grateful xxxx Just wish I could get over the First Day Blues. I'm always all kinds of Psycho and Melancholy on the first day of my period. I cry if we're out of potatoes and I leer menacingly at my husband when he's looking for socks and can't find any (yet, they're always right there when I take a look) xxxx

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